I would like to put a disclaimer on this post: I know that tanning and the color of my skin is a very vain and shallow thing to write about but come on, I know you think about it too!

So, last night I had a brief g-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s moment (that’s when I really start to think I might be glamorous) and I decided to send my husband to Wal-Mart at 9:45pm to buy some self-tanning wipes. I know the horrors that these products can produce as I have experienced orange streaky legs before, but that didn’t stop me. I was determined to have a beautiful golden tan before midnight. Of course, he gets to Wal-Mart and they don’t have the wipes. . . the product that I had researched that was supposed to give you no streaks. At this point I had already committed to the tanned legs so I told him to get the same brand just in the spray. I knew it was a bad idea but I didn’t care. I knew I could make it work this time, somehow. I shaved my legs and exfoliated so I would have the perfect fair-skin pale stark white legs to work with. I started to spray them myself but I was too nervous so I decided since Bill is good at art maybe he should spray them. He agreed (he really is a great husband. . . he used to dye my hair, paint my toe nails when I was pregnant, he takes me shopping, etc, etc)! He evenly sprayed my legs as best as we could tell. I let them dry and then went to bed. I woke up this morning to streaks!! It was so ugly I had to wear jeans (thank goodness it was cold outside today).

So, I am making a plea to all humanity. Can’t we all just accept that white legs are beautiful? Some of us just can’t get a tan even if we buy it in a bottle! And can all of you olive skin-tone people out there please stay out of the sun? You’re making us look bad. So, the next time I come walking by in shorts or a skirt don’t be alarmed, no one is shining a search light, that’s just my legs moving and the light reflecting off of my beautiful white skin.

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