Now that my big secret is out in the open I can share with you the “pregnancy woes” that I’ve experienced over the last few weeks.  I really can’t complain because some of my dear friends actually are very very sick their entire pregnancies.  I’ve only had a little bit of nausea, restless nights, and a whole lot of grumpiness!  Even though my husband wouldn’t believe it, I actually work really hard on not being grumpy but somehow most days I am taken over by this uncontrollable force.  I think it is getting better because I’ve seemed rather nice (at least to myself) the last few days.

However, a few weeks ago when the grumpiness was at its worst, my body was taken over by the pregnancy hormone demons and I went postal (Bill says the word neurotic would be a better description) in a Subway restaurant.  I am so embarrassed to even share this story but I figured I should document it because I probably won’t believe it when Bill tells this story years down the road.  And because it was the most out-of-body experience I have ever had (and I would NEVER do this type of thing in my right mind) I figured I would let you have some laughs at my expense.  Again, I repeat, I have never done this before and hopefully (I pray daily) I will never do this again!

So, it was a lovely Saturday afternoon and we went to get lunch at Subway.  I was very hungry and the grumpiness seems to get worse with hunger.  We walked into the restaurant and we were the only customers.  There were three people behind the counter and they immediately acted annoyed that they were going to actually have to work.  And I must add that this drives me nuts even when I’m not pregnant. . . hello, if you don’t like serving people don’t work in a restaurant!  I decided to turn the other cheek and be nice even though they were being very rude.  We get to the end of the line where you pay and the lady (who doesn’t speak very good English) charges us for something we didn’t order.  She argues with us and says we said we wanted that item.  This was totally absurd and Bill kindly asked for her to just give us the money back for the item that we did not want.  She took two dollars (which wasn’t even the right amount) out of the cash register and threw it at him while mumbling.  We were very disappointed with their service but decided to let it go and eat our food.  The kids and I sat down in the corner by the window and Bill went to get the drinks.  By this time a line had formed and there were probably about 15 people in Subway now.  Bill is getting the drinks over by the cash register when I hear the rude Subway lady yelling at my husband that he didn’t pay for his drink and to give it back.  This is the moment where I lost all control and became devil woman.  I marched up to the cash register and squeezed by the lady that was trying to pay and began screaming at the top of my lungs, “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!  GIVE ME THE OWNER’S PHONE NUMBER NOW!!  I SAID NOW!  GIVE IT TO ME! I SAID GIVE ME THE OWNER’S PHONE NUMBER NOW! NOW!! NOW!!”  Meanwhile, the rude Subway lady is mumbling to the other worker about our receipt.  I continued screaming at her “GIVE IT TO ME!!!” until she gave me a phone number.  I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the correct phone number but I took it anyway.  I go and sit down and whip out my cell phone.  Meanwhile the Subway lady realizes in fact she hadn’t given us back the money she overcharged us and tries to throw fifty cents at Bill.  He told her he didn’t want it.  I’m over at the table by the window and I call the phone number she gave me.  A lady answers and she has the same accent as the lady in the store.  I’m thinking “great, this isn’t going to go anywhere.”  I ask her if she is the owner and she says yes.  I then begin telling her how rude her employees are and how they can’t even understand English! She stops me and says “You said you wanted combo.”  I’m thinking to myself “how do you know what I said, you’re not here. “  Then it all clicks and I turn around and that crazy Subway lady is ducking behind the half-wall that goes into the back of the kitchen talking to me on the phone pretending to be the owner.  All the while all of the 15 customers are waiting in line while she is playing games with me.  They are all watching her and me waiting to see if I’m going to realize what she is doing.  Well, I did and what control I might have regained I quickly lost.  I stood up from my table and yelled as loud as I could across the restaurant, “GROW UP!!!  I SAID I WANTED TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER.  ARE YOU THE OWNER?  NO, YOU’RE NOT!”  The rude Subway lady said “She’ll be here on Monday.”  And I shouted back, “AND I WILL BE TOO!  YOU’RE RIDICULOUS!”  The restaurant was silent and they were probably all wondering if I was about to pull out a gun and shoot them all.  We gathered up our food and the kids and went to eat in peace in the car.  Bill was in shock and just kept looking at me.  I think he was embarrassed and might have been scared too!  My heart was pounding so fast I thought my chest was going to explode.  Right after we got in the car my sister called and I told her what happened.  She thought it was hilarious and now has Avery (my niece) ask me all the time if we can go to Subway.

Even more embarrassing was later that night when I took the boys to eat at another restaurant with my Mom and sister and as we were going out the door one of the poor Subway customers was coming in.  She had a terrified look on her face when she realized who I was.  I told Bill, “Great, now I’m going to be known around Southlake as the crazy Subway lady!”

Please don’t be afraid of me, I’ve really calmed down since then!  I’ve asked for forgiveness and memorized some verses about rage and anger!  I have never acted like this before with all of my other pregnancies so this can only mean one thing. . . maybe it’s a girl!

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