Tomorrow is Parker’s first day of school as a big 1st Grader!  So sad for me!  Where is the time going?  Anyway, he had a little bit of a rough year in Kindergarten last year so he has been dreading going back to school.  He is super smart (I’m the crazy parent that took him and had him tested) and extremely artistic (I wonder where he gets that from) but he is also a perfectionist and gets bogged down trying to make everything perfect.  We were told by several other teachers/friends and the testing people that perhaps he would excel and be happier in a different teacher’s classroom (i.e.  younger and a little less “set in her ways”).  So thankfully this year he got the teacher that was recommended to us.  We had “Meet the Teacher” this morning and he was a little relieved after he saw some familiar faces in his class and saw how nice his new teacher is.  His new teacher is young and beautiful and “tan”, as he told my sister today.  I think he has a little crush!

Tonight as Parker was eating dinner he started talking about all the reasons why he didn’t do well in Kindergarten and why he should probably just be home-schooled.  I did my best to come up with a great positive response about how 1st Grade is going to be so different and so much better.  I talked about all the fun he will have and that he probably won’t even know he’s working hard he’ll be having so much fun.  Well, just as I’ve about got him excited about school again, in walks Big Daddy (he’s been working while I was counseling).  I’m thinking he must have gotten lost in some back-woods town on his way to our kitchen because. . .well, let me just tell you what he said.  I said, “Honey, isn’t Parker going to have a great time in 1st Grade?”  He responds with, “Son, let me just tell you something.  If any of those big kid bullies come try to push you in a corner you just grab their privates and squeeze as hard as you can until they pass out.”  In utter disbelief I look at him and say, “WHAT?”  Quickly trying to salvage the last hour of positive mental attitude that I had almost instilled in my son, I say “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  There are no bullies at Parker’s school.  Only nice kids.  Parker, there are only nice kids.  Don’t listen to him he’s being silly.”  I then try to change the subject to happy thoughts and remind Parker that he gets to go to Art Class too (one of his favorite things).  My husband, who apparently has either been spending too much time working, downloaded some episodes of King of the Hill and watched them, or has decided he is just going to embrace his East Texas roots says, “Ha, ha, boys, did you hear that?  You’re Mom just said Fart Class.  Huh, huh.”  Once again, I gaze at him in disbelief and give a firm reply of, “WHO ARE YOU?”  You see people, this is what happens when you’re the only girl in a house.  Most of the time I’m treated like a queen but once every so often Big Eagle decides to push my buttons and this is what you get (a bunch of back-woods potty talk!).

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