Day 3
Posted on February 22nd, 2012.Hello friends and people we don’t know. 
I love that we are making so many new friends through this journey. We are so thankful for all of the support everyone has shown. I keep saying it over and over but it really really does mean so much!
Today was a free day. We slept in really late (which was great) and then met our guide at 10:30 to go to a park. It was really more like a flower garden/ropes course/outdoor theater/temple/market/everything than a park.
Parker was a big hit with the ladies. He got surrounded by some girls who wanted to take their picture with him and one kissed him on the cheek! Silly girls!
We had a lot of fun there and enjoyed looking around and trying things on.
We bought a few things in the market area for gifts and ate lunch at a really cool restaurant there. It has been really cool to have our guide all to ourselves this trip. He is great and since we are not on our own as much like last time we have gotten to eat a lot of great local food. We’ve only had McDonald’s twice and this was at Eliana’s request!
We were gone much of the day and then we came back to the hotel for a short break before heading out again to another part of town for Daddy to get a new tattoo. What?!? Yes, my husband got a tattoo in Chin@!!
It’s actually very cool and the meaning is so special and even more so that he got it done here. He got the characters for our names and our kids names going down his arm and then going across are the characters that mean “forever family”. The way they are positioned is in the shape of a cross. Here is a picture taken in the middle of the process after she just did the outline.
It looks great! Eliana enjoyed it too and I think she thought it was very special that her name was being tattooed on his arm. When our guide was figuring out the characters for all of our names he said maybe we should just use her Chin@ name because it is shorter and she said no, that she likes her new name. I was glad to hear that.
It has been a very fun day but also a very emotionally draining day. It is hard work to try and connect with someone who has up many guards. She is very sweet and we love her dearly but she has been told so many things by so many people. She has many fears like if she does something wrong we might send her back to the orphanage. Someone also told her once before that sometimes people adopt children just to get their organs for their biological children. She asked our guide to promise that was not what we were doing. She has been told so many other things like this that make it hard for her to let down her guard. It is also a part of the culture to be afraid of the parents. This is so hard for us to relate to because it is so opposite of what we teach our children. Tonight though she was opening up a lot to our guide and he feels this is good because he told her that he tells us whatever she says so if she didn’t want us to know she wouldn’t tell him. We were very sad though at the end of the night (privately… not in front of her) because it was so hard to know how to read her. We had a long talk with our guide and he helped us better understand some of what she is feeling. Then he talked with her and asked her to tell him honestly how she felt about us as her parents and she told him that she likes us. That’s good news. Then she came over and gave me a huge hug and kiss and said “I love you” and did the same to Bill. She is trying really hard it will just be a long road (which we knew). She has 14 years of doing life a completely different way from everything we know. And the fact that we cannot talk without typing it into a translator app right now only complicates matters.
Later tonight though she called her friends and her favorite nanny (from the orphanage) on the phone and came and got me and had me talk with them on the phone. One didn’t speak much English (which was funny) but her nanny did. Her nanny was very nice and told me that Eliana told her she is very happy and her nanny said she is very happy for Eliana to have a nice Mother and Father. This was a big step for her to have me talk with them. It’s kind of like she was inviting me in to her world.
I hope I don’t sound like Debbie Downer I’m just giving you the real life story. This is just the beginning of a very long and beautiful journey of a girl learning to trust and be loved. At times it is exhausting, scary, heartbreaking and frustrating but it is forever worth it. I can’t help but think it must be a little bit what Jesus feels like when He is pursuing His children.
P.S. More photos can be found at The Archibald Project
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I’m really enjoying following along on your beautiful journey! Thank you for the glimpse into your life!
Just like it’s hard to believe in God’s goodness toward us without fear stepping in…I think Eliana is experiencing just that. Your unconditional love for her will bear fruit – it’s all there, but it isn’t easy in the meantime. Praying for her to trust his goodness and yours too. xo
Not a Debbie Downer at ALL! I am so excited for you guys and for this 14-year-old girl whose life you have forever changed! Praying for you guys. This whole story is overwhelmingly beautiful!
Hey Kelli & Bill, just wanted to let you know that we are following every update, every picture and praying for you guys. Imagining ourselves back there with you, even though it’s not the same trip, same provinces, etc. Please don’t be afraid to keep it real. This is (and all adoption stories are) a beautiful story of redemption, provision, faithfulness, joy, but it’s also a story of loss, grief, heartache, change. No need to sugarcoat; the body (especially) needs to hear/see the real story, so that others know what it looks like for God to bring beauty from ashes when he makes a forever family. We all need to know so we can love each other well and come alongside one another in an authentic way. As you share, we know better how to pray for all of you. Praying for E’s sweet heart, and for her to trust that you and the guide are telling her the truth about why she’s part of your family. Can’t imagine what her precious mind must think; may God help her experience felt security with you all quickly. Love you all. ((Hugs from home))
I’m praying for y’all and for daily bonding to take place. It is a slow process, I can only imagine, like my friend Kelley and their family. I think I have passed on her blog to you but if not… http://gazingupward.com I LOVE the tattoo!!! That is awesome!!! Much love from South Carolina!
I cannot imagine the things she is fearing or imagining. I can imagine a year from now… her being able to use her own voice and not a translator on a computer to speak her love for your family, finally having understood that she isn’t going back to being an orphan and that she isn’t a second class member of the family.
Kelli if you told us that everything was perfect and wonderful, I would have a hard time believing that. You wanted to share your story to encourage others to adopt, especially older children, being honest like you have been will help others really know what to anticipate and prepare themselves for that. Great job!
I’ve loved reading your story and keeping up with you all on Facebook and on your blog. I REALLY LOVE the tattoo Bill got. It’s so perfect!
If her attitude/behavior after talking with her nanny is positive/good (sad is OK, too), then I would do everything you can to keep this connection for her. Make sure you get her phone number and e-mail or qq and let Eliana skype her when she wants/needs to once you get back home. Our 14yr old son did this and I think it has been a very positive thing for him. His phone calls have tapered off and I can’t tell you the last time he has called, but I think it made the transition so much easier for him.
We worked with Russian orphans for 2 years in St. Petersburg and they asked us about the organ topic too. So sad. I am excited to follow your journey. I found you through a friend of mine, Corrie.
I’m sitting here reading this and crying like a baby! Love what you both are doing
I’m going to get my son in a few months..and I’m so encouraged by your honesty. Thank you from Seattle!
Thanks for sharing the reality of older child adoption. So glad she is opening up and letting you into her world. She looks like such a great big sister too!
Kelli, I am a friend you have gained during this whole process.
I am moved to tears of joy every time I read another entry. Do not apologize about your honesty. I believe that once we are honest and real is when God can work through us. This whole process for you and your family “sounds” like a fairy tale, and while it is a true miracle, you should be commended for telling it like it is. When God stepped into my life he told me to do something that I know had to be done, but it was the absolute most difficult thing I have ever gone through in my life. The payoff was, and continues to be, beyond beautiful. It is a Leap. Of. Faith. Your family is taking this leap, Eliana on her own had to take this leap. And she is a brave little girl newly born into a brave family.