I usually don’t do this. Because I know just how much advice we parents get from everyone (including those that aren’t even parents) and just how annoying overwhelming it can be. But today, I feel it is my duty to give you this advice. Just consider it a favor. I was going to just post this on Facebook but it told me it was too long. Me, wordy? Imagine that! So I decided it would be best just to write this in a blog. For the good of parents everywhere, those who will come behind us, etc, I’m going to tell you something important. This is especially for the new parents. And don’t feel bad if you’re new. We’ve all been there. We all had to be “new” at some point right? I mean who was born with kids? Anyway, here’s the 4-1-1:
There is one important piece of equipment that every parent must own. It is not a wipe warmer. Seriously, do you heat your own toilet paper? Heck, you really don’t even need teething toys because they’re just going to gnaw on your wood furniture anyway! But, what you do need, what you cannot live without, what you must run to the store and register for today is . . . a SHOP VAC!!!
I’m not even kidding. It is the most used piece of equipment in our home. It stays plugged in to the extension cord in our garage right next to where we park our car. That sucker will save your life! No, it will. If someone hides in your garage and tries to attack you and your kids you can use it to suck their face off. But really, it’s like having your own car wash without soap and water in your garage. And for an added bonus for those of you with older kids, shop vac-ing the car makes a great punishment with a double prize for you . . . a clean car and a child who will never misbehave again! Trust me. You will never regret your decision to get one. Someday you may even want to call me your Parenting Sensei for telling you about this but I won’t let you. Because that would be weird.
This concludes my public service announcement. Tune in next time when I will tell you something else. Yeah, I’m not really sure what I will tell you but I am sure it will be about something. Have a great weekend!
My kids are always asking me, but usually I say no. Tonight I gave in and agreed to let my middle son give it a whirl. After all, he is the very low maintenance “middle child”, and I try to look for special things for him to do so that he doesn’t get lost in our crowd of many children. So I thought, why not? I mean at what age should you let your children run on the treadmill anyway? Is there a law about that? Well, if there is I’m sure I broke it. At least he felt accomplished running his little heart out on the treadmill tonight. And he gave his Momma a little Jesus moment in the process. What’s that? Jesus speaks through treadmills and under-age child runners on them no less? Hold that thought …
For those who have asked Lilli is still doing great! I’ve said it before but it really is like she’s always been with us! She just had her first “well check” with her pediatrician and he is very pleased with how she is doing. She’s healthy and growing. She’s even gained a little over a pound! Everyone in our house is doing great actually! London is obsessed with Mickey Mouse and the boys are 1,000% boys! We’ve had fun swimming a lot and trying to stay cool. If that is even possible. I have deeper things the Lord has shown me that I want to share about being a Mom, adoption, etc but my brain is too tired to write about that tonight. But for now I wanted to share these videos with you. Lilli LOVES to dance. She’s got her some moves too. Anytime music is playing she starts dancing. But, as soon as she notices the camera is turned on she quickly stops. Here are some quick videos shot with my phone we got of her before she noticed the camera. She’s a cutie!
Some of you may remember when we were in China and I wrote about Lilli giving kisses for the first time and how special that was. Lilli has been learning new words but still has a very limited English vocabulary. Like 10 words max. Most of them names of people! She’s only been with us just shy of 2 months so even that many words is a pretty big success. I haven’t been able to get her to combine words yet either and just the other day I was thinking how cool it will be when I say “I Love You” to her and she says it back. Well, tonight we were taking my Mom home and as she was getting out of the car telling everyone she loved them all of a sudden Lilli said it! She said “I LOVE YOU!” Of course I had to get her to keep saying it so we could video it so as I was driving my nine year old was in the backseat attempting to capture her saying the three most precious words a Mother could ever hear! Enjoy! And excuse the poor video quality!
It’s been about a week since I posted because we’ve been busy having summer fun! We’ve gone swimming at our house, swimming at the local water park, played at Nona’s house, played at Chick-Fil-A, taken the brothers to VBS every day this week and had lots of other fun times in between! Lilli LOVED the water park which is great because it’s one of her sister and brothers favorite places!
And she LOVES wearing my high heels! So funny considering she’s so tiny!
Today was Lilli’s big doctor’s appointment with the International Adoption Specialist at Children’s in Dallas. We have consulted with Dr. LaTour there since last Fall when we got Lilli’s file. We sent her every update we got on Lilli over the course of the adoption and she would phone conference with us on how she thought Lilli was doing. Mainly all we had to go off of were her weight, height, head circumference and pictures but at least it gave us and Dr. LaTour some idea how things were looking. Some of you may remember that the reason our adoption process went so quickly was because we chose to do a “Special Needs” adoption. I don’t think I’ve ever done a blog post (that I can remember) about why Lilli is considered “Special Needs” and I’ve had several people ask me recently so I’ll go ahead and explain. Which by the way, it’s not a secret or something we didn’t want to share I just never really thought to write about it. When we got Lilli’s file her diagnosis was “Delayed Brain Development.” There was not a lot of information in her file as to how this diagnosis was determined other than there was a CT scan done when she was a baby that showed slight fluid on her brain and she was very tiny. We didn’t know at the time what this would look like for her future. Would she be able to function in school, in life, live on her own as an adult or what? What we did know for a fact was that she was our daughter. God gave us peace that no matter what she was our daughter and beyond that His daughter and He would give us everything we needed to care for whatever need she had. So we accepted her file without hesitation or worry.
We talked with Dr. LaTour after we accepted her file and she was not really concerned about Lilli’s brain development. We talked about how this term “Delayed Brain Development” is a diagnosis that is given very broadly in China. She explained to us that slight fluid on the brain is very common in preemies and based on Lilli’s size she would lean heavily toward her being born prematurely. (Which I’ll add this here too since I’ve been asked by several people . . . we do not have any information on her birth parents or her actual birth, etc.) If in fact she was a preemie then the fluid on her brain should resolve itself over time. She told us she wanted to monitor her head circumference to make sure her head was not growing too large which would indicate the fluid did not resolve, was increasing and there could be other issues. Her only other concern at the time was that she was so tiny and not even on the growth chart so we needed to monitor her growth all around. So over the 8 months that we had her file and were waiting to go get her that is what we monitored (as much as possible).
Not too many weeks after having this initial phone consultation (back in the Fall) with Dr. LaTour I heard the Lord say to me “She is fine. Nothing missing, nothing broken.” I believed it with all my heart and really never considered her “Special Needs” in my mind when I would think of her or refer to her. A few months later I told Bill I kind of felt bad because I hadn’t told anyone to pray for Lilli’s fluid on her brain to be gone or any other delays she might have. I told him about what God had said to me (which we had talked about before) and we both agreed that when God says something it’s done. There’s no need to keep bringing it back to Him just to “make sure.”
So for me today was an exciting today because it felt like going to get the physical evidence and confirmation of what the Lord said several months ago. Dr. LaTour talked with us at length about Lilli and then thoroughly examined her. She is developmentally on track in every area!! Her speech is the only area where it’s difficult to determine because we don’t know what she’s saying in Mandarin. However, she understands English remarkably well and even follows instructions in English. She says about five words in English and it is expected and normal for her to take several months to pick up speaking English. But, understanding what we are saying is a huge start! She is still VERY tiny and barely on the growth charts. She wants us to put her on a high calorie diet to see if we can bump her up on the charts a bit but she is not highly concerned. If she really was a preemie then she would be plotted on the chart differently and would be a little higher up on the growth chart anyway. She may just be a petite little person her entire life and that’s fine too! We talked about the initial CT scan that showed the fluid on her brain and after Dr. LaTour spoke with us, saw her interact, and examined her she really felt there were no signs that would lead to her having any fluid on her brain still. She said we could do a repeat CT scan if we wanted to but she did not feel it was necessary and was something we could monitor the same way we have been doing over the past 8 months. Since doing the CT scan at her age would require sedation we decided it was not necessary and we would follow her suggestion. Dr. LaTour thought she was doing beautifully and said she had absolutely no concerns about her. Yeah God!!!!!
This post is already too long so I’ll try to wrap it up but I just had to point out that this “label” that Lilli was given as an infant could be viewed in a negative way or a positive way. Or as I see it, in a God way. To me, it was all a part of His plan to get her to our arms. I believe Lilli was chosen for our family not for us to be a blessing to her but for her to bless us and so many others. “Special Needs” adoptions in China are processed much faster than the “Traditional or Healthy Child” adoptions. So basically, God worked it out to get Lilli out of the “system” and into our arms. I’m not trying to say at all that all “Special Needs” kids end up not having a special need or that there is anything wrong with these precious children. I’m just sharing our story and saying when God speaks you can trust His words. Sometimes our own logic, fear or rationalization can keep us from some of His biggest blessings. I’m so thankful that this time I didn’t miss out.
